Why, if everybody is entitled to a fair trial, do women charge, trial, judge and sentence men as if they were all guilty?
Women lawyers, judges and justices there are many; yet no woman believes in the presumption of innocence of a man.
Seriously, that which prays that “everyone is innocent until proven guilty,” is all but “dead-letter” in the minds of women when it comes to men. Sadly, and as if not believing in the presumption of innocence of men where not enough, women don’t believe in shifting the burden of proof either (which in this case would be “everyone is guilty until proven otherwise“). No, for women “men are all the same.”
And even if most men are essentially the same,
Harmless generalizations that fit the gender are nothing to get upset about. Things like men being terribly basic, or how they think about sex all the time, get sleepy after doing that about what we think all the time, don’t understand women, don’t listen to women etc…, are true to most men, really.
There is huge difference between these harmless generalizations and trying to fit men into a basket where they are all abusers, cheaters, liars, etc…
If a woman pursued a relationship with an abuser, an emotionally unavailable man, a petty criminal, a player, a cheat, a liar or a down right “dog,” that alone doesn’t make the gender one of exclusively abusers, emotionally unavailable, petty criminals, players, cheaters, liars or “dogs”.
Huge difference, seriously.
Thing is that if a woman decides (even unknowingly) to plunge head-first into a relationship with one of any of the types of men that fit-the-bill above, and is left justifiably disenchanted (for it turned out to be one where she was abused and left to ponder about her missed opportunities, one where her love for the guy was unrequited, one where she was cheated and/or lied to), she will always come away condemning men when in reality it is not men whom have hurt her but a man. And as much as that man deserves to be charged, trialed, judged and sentenced (some even to serve jail-time), passing-on that same judgment and sentencing to all men, and under the premise that “men are all the same” is terribly unfair with men (no doubt), but mostly with women.
For when women work under the suspicion that “all men are the same,” they too abandon the idea that they can find love in-the-heart of a good man.
As unfair as it is with men, for women to think that for the actions of one man all men have to prove themselves worthy of the kind of affection offered to those that abused-it or didn’t give it return, it’s even worse when it comes for women to find options for their futures. By doing so, she who is won over by her suspicions that “all men are the same,” precludes the possibility of being liked by he who finds them interesting and attractive; he who despite their pasts is willing to work to let her overcome her fears; he who is willing to offer the long lost respect of her past relationships, but doesn’t want nor shouldn’t be judged and sentenced for transgressions he didn’t commit.
Worst part though is when women use the dreaded “all men are the same” not only to preclude themselves from happiness, but instill fear in other women’s hearts too.
Because even if a woman has been hurt she’s been hurt not by men but by a man, one is left to wonder what’s up with women and the “presumption of innocence”?
Next post: Women and the “silent treatment” (Monday March 5, 2012)